Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer

Ted Cruz is a presidential candidate right now who is one of the front runners of the Republican party alongside Donald Trump and let me just say it is really interesting to watch politics this election.  Not because politics are particularly interesting but just watching the Republicans freaking out about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton trying to beat Bernie desperately.  It will be very interesting to see what happens with the Republican nominees and if Trump will still run as an independent.  If you go on the internet frequently you have probably heard of Ted Cruz and how he is the Zodiac Killer.  If not you are in for a wild ride so buckle your seat belts boys and girls, sit back and enjoy the ride.

So The Zodiac Killer was a serial killer said to be responsible for at least 5 murders in Northern California from 1969 to 1974.  He was known for his letters to police departments and news papers claiming responsibility for his murders and taunting police for not being able to catch him.  He was never caught.  So what does Ted Cruz have to do with this you might be asking?  Either absolutely nothing or he is the killer, LET US ANALYZE THE FACTS.
1. Ted Cruz and the Zodiac killer have been seen in the same room together.  That sounds suspicious.  How could they be in the same room together if Ted Cruz is not the killer?
2. Ted Cruz has not denied being the Zodiac Killer.  If he is not the killer then why has he not denied being it?
3. Ted Cruz is not a person.  If you do not believe you have obviously never seen a picture of this "guy".  He's so creepy it is not even funny.  Every picture of him that I see is him makes him look like an alien trying to look like a normal human and fit in.  He is always so uncomfortable in photos.You have classics like this,

Good job America this man has a good shot and the Republican nomination.

Then you have absolute gems like this:

Ted Cruz wins the award for most uncomfortable man of the year.\

Honorable mention bad photos go to these two:

Swiggity Swooty hes coming for that booty.                                 #deep

Okay so obviously he is not capable of acting normal.  That does not make him the Zodiac Killer though, except that it does.

One of these men is Ted Cruz and I cannot tell which is which.  Really weird.  The side by side with a drawing of the zodiac killer is showing Ted Cruz to be the Zodiac Killer.  Oh and Ted is Canadian which just means he can't be trusted because let's face it Canadians are shifty.

Okay so as sad as it makes me to say it there is a massive hole in this entire thing.  Ted Cruz released his birth certificate and he was born two years after the first Zodiac killing happened.  So there is no way Ted Cruz could have been the Zodiac Killer.  Still a fun theory though since it is so random.  I mean unless time travel gets invented Ted Cruz cant be the killer.

"Ted Cruz." Bio.com. Accessed March 17, 2016. http://www.biography.com/people/ted-cruz.

Yglesias, Matthew. "Ted Cruz's Secret Life as the Zodiac Killer, Explained." Vox. March 08, 2016. Accessed March 17, 2016. http://www.vox.com/2016/3/8/11179492/ted-cruz-zodiac-killer.

Unless you could not tell this was written as a satire.  I had read people making jokes about it and decided to take a shot at it myself and I like how it turned out.  Two more posts coming later this month.